It’s been a few months since my last blogpost, and I felt today was a good day to count my blessings.
Tonight is the 3rd night of Passover, and the day that I used to mark as Easter Sunday. My conversion to Judaism is imminent, and it makes my heart soar to be on this journey.
I don’t see it as leaving anything behind as much as accepting a truth about myself and where my spirit and soul reside, and it is in the faith of my children, my beloved, and my in-laws. And perhaps also in the legacy of my great, great grandfather Moses Ennis, a tailor in Castlebar, County Mayo, Ireland.
This week, Irish people the world over will mark the 103rd anniversary of the Easter Rising.
Because I stumbled soon after my transition became public in 2013, I feel connected to the bloody rebellion against England. Like me, it at first failed, but ultimately led to the creation of the Irish Free State, a republic that is my ancestral home, and still home to both my mother and father’s families. Which makes them my family.
It was two years ago this summer that the children and I traveled to our ancestral homeland. I look forward to returning to Ireland, perhaps in 2020. Or sooner, if President Trump continues to oppress transgender Americans as he and his administration are doing. Some folks would go to Canada, but it’s Ireland for us.
Our extended family still needs your prayers and good thoughts, as one of our loved ones is ailing. I won’t get into details because they’re not mine to share.
But other than that, life is good. No, really!
In fact, we’re all doing well. Our oldest is in his last quarter of his first year of college. Our middle child is finishing her junior year and we’re starting to look at colleges, and the youngest is a boy scout in seventh grade and studying for his bar mitzvah this fall.
Together we are doing all the planning, and this being my first one without his mom to help us, I’ll admit it’s a challenge. But we have the hall, the cake, the deejay and a theme. Next up is invitations, seating charts and of course, the actual ceremony and celebration!
I’ve been teaching journalism, advertising and public relations at the University of Hartford since January, and I’ll be back in the fall. This week, my students in my Writing for the Media class are almost at the conclusion of viewing “All The President’s Men.”
My News Reporting students are conducting interviews, asking people their thoughts on the redacted Mueller Report. Their assignment: find people on both sides of the Trump divide.
And last week, I signed a contract to be a contributor toForbes.com,starting soon. So, financially, we’re in the best shape we’ve been in since 2016. I still have huge debts, and even with three paychecks, we still struggle, but my head is at long last above water.
Yes, life is good. Our seder was fun and for the first time in the 22 years since I’ve been co-hosting seders, we had a guest, our housemate Kati. Dahlia was there but we missed having our oldest child at the table! In fact, it’s the first time in 20 years we didn’t have all three children sitting with us, and our third Seder since we lost the most important person in our lives. But life goes on.
As it must. And there will be people who will gossip and whisper about the fact that for the first time in a long time I shared photographs of our children here. Well, let them.
It’s proof we are happy, and together (sorta), and thriving. And that’s worth sharing.
Now, things are finally really looking up: Last month I started teaching 5 days a week at the University of Hartford, and I was just announced as the managing editor of the website, Outsports.I’m very excited to finally share some good news!
As I’ve made clear in my social media posts, I’m one of dozens of freelance writers owed thousands of dollars, by this corporate parent company of Out Magazine, among others. Check out the hashtag #OutOwes.
They only owe me $400, but that $400 would bridge the gap between unemployment and steady work, and truly change the lives of my children and me.
Our life savings is gone. With that $400, I’d be able to pay the bill to reinstate my auto insurance policy. I’d be able to pay the bill to reconnect the internet service and basic cable TV. We already have an antenna, but my job requires me to keep an eye on news and sports channels that are only available via cable. I’d be able to pay the cell phone bill. Most importantly, I’d be able to buy groceries for my family; we’ve got enough for today but even with rationing, we’ll soon run out of food.
I hate having to ask. But I’ve asked Pride Media, I’ve even begged, and yet… nothing. Not even a promise of “the check is in the mail.”
The lowest point was earlier this week, when my daughter and I ran out of feminine pads. I asked a woman on the Pride Media team, please take some of the money you owe me, please go to a store, please buy us some pads and please, please, please send them overnight.
Two friends saw my pleas on social media and yesterday they sent us $18 each. That’s “Chai” in Hebrew, and traditionally a symbolic and meaningful gift. Those $36 mean the world to us.
I used it to buy pads, buy some food, and get us through this crisis until Pride Media and my new employers pay me.
Until then, we’re still in crisis. If you are in a position to help, we really could use it now.
To support us directly, you can send funds through Venmo (@Dawn-Ennis-1) or PayPal (https://www.paypal.me/DawnEnnis). You can also contribute to the Ennis Family Scholarship Fund Trust, either online at this link: https://www.gofundme.com/zc4q96x4 or you can send a check to my brother-in-law who manages the trust for my children:
Robert Lachs, 1729 E Prairie Ave., Wheaton, IL 60137
That fund won’t help us in our immediate need, but contributions are still very appreciated and most welcome as every dollar goes toward my children’s education.
My oldest son is 20 and studying at the University of Chicago, and he just got a job at the school library; my daughter is 16, sings in four choirs, and just started working at Goodwill, and my youngest is 12, a Boy Scout and studying for his bar mitzvah in the fall.
Thank you, and I hope you find love today, and always!
This time on RiseUP With Dawn Ennis,I’m delighted to have Mary Fay in the studio. We discuss the recent election and its result, being a Republican in a progressive community, Connecticut politics and how she can be both an out lesbian and a Republican.
You might recall that last month, I interviewed her empty chair. She was a no-show!
Well, she showed up this time! And we had a great conversation, even if we didn’t agree on much. She was the first Republican to be my guest, and hopefully not the last.
Watch here, and scroll down for links mentioned in this month’s episode!
And you can find out more about our representative government here in West Hartford, Connecticut, by clicking here.I myself am an alternate representative to the town Democratic committee, representing District 1. Find out about ushere, and please join us! If you’re interested in the Republican committee, they have a website, too.
One of the issues we discussed were tolls coming to Connecticut, and although Ms. Fay told me I was wrong, you can read for yourself that a study shows they will bring $1B to our financially-strapped state. Here’s the report in the Hartford Courant.
And if you’d like to communicate with the woman who beat Ms. Fay for the 18th Legislative district seat, you’ll find Jillian Gilchrest on Twitter. Incidentally, I’ve learned Jillian still has not received a promised call from Ms. Fay conceding the election.
That’s all for our January episode of RiseUP, and I invite you to like, share and subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Also listen to the podcast I’m now doing with Chardonnay Merlot, Before The War. We discuss politics, transgender issues and news of the week.
We took some time off recently because of the holidays, the death of Chardonnay’s grandfather and my own recovery from surgery at Mount Sinai’s NY Eye and Ear Infirmary.
Despite the name of the facility, my surgeon is now performing vaginoplasty surgeries there. I suffered a complication in June from the operation he performed in May, and so my recent surgery was aimed at correcting that. All is well!
Since this is the Christmas season, I thought I’d leave you with three “gifts.” First, two articles just published by The Advocate Magazine, profiling some amazing people I met at the NYC Pride march… Kaia Naadira and Ty Defoe! Click on their names to read!
Then, some politically-inspired carols… (SCROLL DOWN)
And last, the latest video from my BFF Maia Monet in which she wrangled Santa Claus (Dev Zebra) into listening to the Christmas wishes of transgender people! (KEEP SCROLLING)
I don’t want a lot for Christmas There’s just one change we need. I don’t care about Jared or Junior
Let them spend this Christmas free.
I just want #Trump‘s mobile phone
Then let him go to Mar-A-Lago
We’ll end the shutdown, too.
All I want for Christmas
Is a COUP.
Silent night, Shutdown night Everyone’s gone, turn out the lights ‘Round the world, allies gone wild Holy shit, Trump is out of his mind Sleep with porn stars, grab pussy Sleep with porn stars, grab pussy!
We wish you a Mueller Christmas We wish you a Mueller Christmas We wish you a Mueller Christmas and a Happy Indictment Fake Newscasts we bring to you and your kin We wish you a Mueller Christmas and a Happy Indictment!
Closing bells ring, are you listening On Wall Street, stocks are slipping A terrible fright We’re crying tonight Watching our markets crashland. Gone away are our investments Here to stay is a depressment #Trump was so wrong To boast all along While our markets crashland.
Donald the Conman Was a lying racist clown With combover hair and tiny hands And pouting lips in a permanent frown Donald the President Lied ’bout the wall: Mexico won’t pay And his base was surprised when Before their eyes All those promised jobs went away.
You know Flynn and Manafort and Gates and Cohen Kellyanne and Sarah and Jared and Stephen But do you recall The most famous Trumpster of all? Ivanka the President’s Daughter Plays a very shady role And if you ever saw her You would even say she knows More than the other reindeer!
Mueller baby, slip your report under the tree for me Been an awful good girl Mueller baby, and hurry up with your Trump indictment Mueller baby, more indictments, too, for Mike Pence, too I’ll wait up for you, Robert Mueller baby, so hurry to the White House tonight
I really can’t wait (Baby Mueller’s outside) I gotta go to Mar-A-Lago (Baby Mueller’s outside) This term has been (Been hoping that it would end) So very sad (I’ve noticed your hands really are tiny like a toy) Mike Pence will start to worry (Not as much as we worry!)
Just hear breaking news alerts jingling, ring tingle tingling, too Come on, it drives me crazy my phone blows up ‘cuz of you Feels like the sky is falling and friends are crying “boo hoo!” Come on, it’s time for Mueller to finish so we can get rid of you!
‘Twas the Sunday before Christmas, when all thro’ the House, Not a congressman was stirring, not even @RepMikeBost The shutdown begun by the POTUS who dared Hoping his base soon would not care; The children nestled in cages of dread Forget freedom, just don’t let them be dead.
Well, I have a little witness I made him talk today And when the indictment’s ready Then, a video I shall play Oh, Jared, Jared, Jared What you told me I can’t say But when the indictment’s ready Then, #Trump will say, OY VEY.
Happy Holidays and here’s wishing to a fabulous 2019!
The 20th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance was observed on Tuesday, and my friend Kati Ennis and I attended the commemoration in Hartford, Connecticut. You can see some of the very moving program in the new episode of RiseUP With Dawn Ennis.
I was invited by Rev. Aaron Miller to deliver the Interfaith Prayer, which was a poem by Rabbi Rami Shapiro,What To Do. I was humbled by the amazing stories and reflections of the speakers: Regina Dyson, Brianna Johnston, Mia Lozada, Aeryn Grady (audio problems prevented me from including Aeryn in my show), Maeve Martinez and the incredible author, life coach and public speaker, Tony Ferraiolo.
Also in this new episode, what was supposed to be a sit down interview with Republican West Hartford Town Councilor Mary Fay — who ran and lost in the local election for state legislator to newcomer Jillian Gilchrest — turned out quite differently than I had anticipated. Fay, an out lesbian who also won the endorsement of the Independent Party in Connecticut, had agreed to an interview during the campaign, then reneged.
I caught up with her on Election Day as she greeted voters, and she promised to appear on my show. But when it came time to record the episode, Fay again sent her regrets, complaining of a bout with a stomach bug. She’s offered to appear on a future episode. The chair remains empty, so we’ll see. Fay was set to be the very first Republican to appear on my program; instead, she is the very first “no show” in 16 episodes since March 2017.
What you will see instead of Mary is Maggie, or as we now call her, Dahlia. She’s a rescue adoption dog who became part of our family thanks to Scott Turner Schofield and GLAAD, and the team at Litton Entertainment, a Hearst company, that produces a new reality series: Ready Set Pet on The CW.
You can see clips in this new episode of RiseUP With Dawn Ennis:
It’s taken me all week to process this, and share this news. A few days ago, on my mother’s birthday, I got the results of a genetic test following my annual mammogram (#12) and I learned I inherited the BRCA1 gene, putting me at “high risk” for cancer. Most folks have a one percent chance; the odds for me are 50/50.
Given the fact I lost my beloved Wendy, my father and my father in law to this killer, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. And it’s not like I’ve been diagnosed, not at all. I am surrounded by fighters and survivors and relatives of those who fought… so I am, at the moment, still on the sidelines… or to use a baseball analogy, I am in the bullpen, warming up.
I’m not going to just sit here; I am heeding this wake up call. The road ahead will be marked by enhanced screenings, a better diet and more exercise. I will fight cancer before it gets its cold dead hands on me. I will survive this as I’ve survived every single challenge and overcome every obstacle in my path. My children and those who love me expect nothing less.
I feel as if cancer is a stalker, or worse: a serial killer. And the cops just knocked on my door to warn me I’m a potential target.
“Get out of town while you can!” they say. So I have bid farewell to the city of bad eating habits and sedentary living. I am running for my life.
If you’ll allow me one more metaphor, I will wage a war through my writing and my social media and my media platforms. And if you have a relative in your immediate family who is either a cancer survivor or was diagnosed, I strongly encourage you to check with your insurance about getting tested. Mine was covered 100% and I’m grateful that I have this knowledge to set the course ahead to healthier living.
Connecticut State Senator Beth Bye took time from the campaign trail to talk with me about her re-election bid, #MeToo, taxes, tolls, Trump and Brett Kavanagh.
And we discussed our wives. Like me, Bye married a teacher, and together they made history as the first same-sex couple to legally wed in Connecticut.
My late wife knew her, since Bye served on West Hartford’s Board of Education and supported her first bid to run for the state senate in 2010.
Watch my interview with Sen. Bye at the link below, and scroll down for links mentioned in episode 15 of RiseUP With Dawn Ennis.
Here is where you can weigh-in on the confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Click here to tweet to me, or add your comment below. Who do you believe? Dr. Christine Blasey Ford? Or Judge Kavanaugh?
Thanks for reading and for watching! Catch up on prior episodes of RiseUP With Dawn Ennis by clicking here.
One last note: I mentioned my late spouse Wendy Lachs Ennis both here in my blog and during this month’s episode, because she was how I first learned about Sen. Bye, and because I think about her every day ending in “Y.” Saturday would have been our 22nd wedding anniversary… if not for my transition, and her passing.
Despite being gone 2 years and 9 months, she is always on our minds and in our hearts. It’s been especially hard sending our firstborn off to college without her, teaching our only daughter how to drive, planning our youngest’s Bar Mitzvah, mindful of her spirit but missing her presence and participation.
And our financial struggle to support our children’s education is no less difficult, having lost my most recent steady job to budget cuts last month.
If you are not already one of the many wonderful friends and strangers who have generously supported our children’s education fund, I hope you will consider making a contribution. All the money, every penny, goes to our eldest son’s college fund and the bank account set aside to educate his younger brother and sister. You can do so by clicking here for the GoFundMe account or send a check, payable to “Ennis Family Scholarship Fund Trust” to Robert Lachs, 1729 E Prairie Ave., Wheaton, IL 60137.
Just because June is over doesn’t mean it’s the end of pride celebrations. This month on my talk show, RiseUP with Dawn Ennis,we cover a lot of ground, and if you’ll forgive me for boasting… I have a lot to boast about.
This summer has been one big event after another for me, personally. And for my eleventh episode of this series on WHC-TV and YouTube, I’ve decided to navel-gaze, and share some personal milestones:
My children and I welcomed a new addition to our happy home (NO, I am not and never will be pregnant!);
And my selection as a community hero by Heritage of Pride (organizers of the NYC Pride March), which put me front and center at the historic 49th annual event on June 24th, alongside several genuine LGBTQ icons. Click here for the link to the names of all of this year’s honorees.
Hello, imposter syndrome!
Kaia Naadira (left), Emma Gonzalez and Dawn Ennis
Yes, that woman with the crew cut standing to my right is indeed Emma Gonzalez,18, a graduate of Parkland, Fla.’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, and survivor of the deadly school shooting rampage on February 14th.
We talked at length about how she’s dealt with all she’s seen, handling haters, her hairstyle and her choice for college. Her mom is a sweetheart and entrusted me to keep an eye on Emma as she walked ahead of the float we rode through Lower Manhattan.
And because I am a journalist first and foremost, I also took time before and after the march to do my job: I interviewed the woman in the center of this photo, the queer-identified gender nonconforming artist and video innovator Kaia Naadira, whose mother Tarana Burke started the #MeToo movement. I also spoke with Two Spirit performance artist Ty Defoe, right, who followed Pride with a stint on Broadway alongside transgender icon Kate Bornstein in Straight White Men.
You can read the interviews in an upcoming print issue of The Advocate Magazineas well as watch the interviews in this month’s episode, on YouTube, below. And below the episode, you’ll find links promised during the show.
My friend Kati and I also met one of my lifelong heroes, Billie Jean King, one of the grand marshals.
If you don’t know how she single-handedly changed the world — not just the world of sports — watch this Peabody Award-winning documentary about the tennis and women’s movement and lesbian legend here.
I asked King about “Battle of the Sexes,” the recent movie about her historic 1973 tennis match against Bobby Riggs, and how producers had suggested they “leave out” that she was lesbian, since at the time she was married to her ex-husband. “You can’t leave that out!” she told them.
King also had this to say, in the Portrait of a Pioneer documentary:
“Even though I get discouraged sometimes, if you’re a girl or a woman, you’re supposed to be really happy when you get the crumbs. I don’t want just the crumbs! I want the cake and the icing. Everybody deserves the cake and the icing.”
Placide, pictured above left with King, is OutRight Action International’s Caribbean-based Advisor and the Executive Director of the Eastern Caribbean Alliance for Diversity and Equality (ECADE). She has been an advocate for HIV and human rights, youth and LGBTI issues, for over 12 years. Instrumental in organizing the first OECS regional security and human rights training for LGBT and sexual rights defenders in 2011, she made history co-coordinating the Caribbean’s first International Dialogue on Human Rights in 2012.
Lambda Legal is the oldest and largest national legal organization whose mission is to achieve the full recognition of the civil rights of the LGBTQ community and everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education, and public policy work. In the past year alone, Lambda Legal has sued to stop the transgender military ban, defended marriage equality nationally, fought federal, state and local-level discrimination, and continued to advocate for the most vulnerable members of our community – including youth, seniors, the trans community, and communities of color.
Tyler Ford is an award-winning agender advocate, writer, and speaker, whose creative and critical writing on queer and trans identity inspires, comforts, and challenges a diverse spectrum of audiences. Ford is also the Deputy Editor at Condé Nast’s them, a next-generation LGBTQ community platform.
If you’re like my youngest son and you’d like to know more about Stonewall and the 1969 protests and riots that sparked the LGBTQ pride movement (there were several other uprisings, such as in Philadelphia and San Francisco that preceded Stonewall, incidentally), read this history of how it came to be here. If not for Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, it might never have.
I met two heroes who are living witnesses to history, riding along with me on the Community Heroes float: trans activist Victoria Cruz, and Tree Sequoia, who’s tended bar at The Stonewall Inn for decades.
For details about the Center for Transgender Surgery at Mount Sinai Hospitalin New York City, you can visit their website here, and don’t be surprised when you see my familiar mug online! The hospital hired several LGBTQ actors and trans models for their promotional material and in-house videos, me among them.
The New Haven Register reported on my surgery last month, and not for any reason but to raise awareness of the battle I waged. I fought for me, but I also don’t believe it’s fair that I should be the first and last transgender resident of Connecticut to be allowed this oppportunity.
I would never have granted the reporter the interview just to talk about me; I talked about this fight in an episode last fall and you can read about it here. The battle is not over just because I got mine.
Speaking of names in the news, I was interviewed by The New York Times for a story that was published on the same day as the NYC Pride March, about traveling while trans and people around the world who identify as LGBTQ. Or as The Times put it, L.G.B.T.Q. You can read that story here, and although it’s the first time I’ve had my name in the newspaper of record, I hope it’s not the last!
Find out about NYC Pride by clicking here, and make plans now for the 50th anniversary celebration in June 2019!
Outsports Prideis an annual event that anyone interested in sports and equality should definitely add to your calendar!
At The Advocate I earned the nickname “SportsGirl” so this was a genuine honor to be asked to moderate a panel, featuring:
Nevin Caple. The former NCAA basketball player for Farleigh-Dickinson University is a co-founder of LGBT SportSafe, which seeks to build inclusion for athletes and coaches of any sexual orientation or gender identity.
Sarah Axelson. Axelson is a former softball player at the University of Mary Washington. She is currently the Director of Advocacy for theWomen’s Sports Foundation, and:
Clare Kenny. Now campaigns manager at GLAAD and working with campus programs, Kenny is a former volleyball player at Skidmore College and build an LGBTQ inclusion program in her athletics department.
Thank you to Cyd Ziegler of Outsports for inviting me, and for being so generous as to also welcome my friend Kati Ennis, who has been my right hand, my helper, my chauffeur, cook, and co-mom while I’ve been focused on my recovery. She and her dogs have moved in with us at our home in Connecticut and we are all ever so grateful!
Together we met San Francisco 49ers coach Katie Sowers — the first woman to coach in the NFL — and Ryan O’Callaghan, the out former Patriots star. I urge you to donate to his Ryan O’Callaghan Foundation — which supports talented LGBTQ youth with college scholarships. Find out more about their important work by clicking here, Or email Ryan here:firstname.lastname@example.org
If you’re looking for other ways to celebrate Pride in Connecticut, go to CT Visit.com for a complete list, including New Haven and New London Pride as well as details about Hartford Capital City Pride September 7th and 8th.
If Karleigh looks familiar, she was my videographer, editor, producer and brilliant collaborator on the episode last fall we taped in Provincetown, Mass. She’s incredibly talented!
Find out more about New York City’s Museum of Sex by going to their website or visiting them at 233 Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, at the corner of East 27th Street.
I heartily recommend the Magic Wand, by the way. It’s great for… massaging.
By the way, we stayed at the Evelyn Hotel just down the block, and had a lovely time! It’s steps away from the end of the new parade route and around the corner from Madison Square Park.
Did you like the “RESIST” tee with the transgender colors — from the flag created by Monica Helms — which I wore during the NYC Pride March, and the recording of this episode? Click here for a link to get your own!
I can also connect you with Nolan Custom Craft on Etsy, who produced the RiseUP With Dawn Ennis Pride 2018 stainless steel water bottle seen in this episode. I own another one, too, as you can see below!
Thanks for watching and for reading lifeafterdawn.com Your comments on the show and my blog are welcome in the comments, and that’s also how you can let me know if you’d like to be our next special correspondent.
Next month: Another candidate in Connecticut’s embattled race for attorney general! Until then… Remember to RISE UP!